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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29168790">Holding Out For You And Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venus_The_Space_Cadet/pseuds/Venus_The_Space_Cadet'>Venus_The_Space_Cadet</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fargo (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Deafy more like put those preacher skills to use and listen to those around you amirite, Healthy Communication, M/M, Noah wouldn't give Odis a break so I WILL, also the gals deserve better too, begruding partners to happy partners, friends to uhhh something, lot's of hand holding, partners to friends, these two have a lot to work through alright?, which is non existent in the fargo universe I know</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:36:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,703</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29168790</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venus_The_Space_Cadet/pseuds/Venus_The_Space_Cadet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gunshots rang through the air.</p><p>Odis froze. </p><p>‘Palomino.’</p><p>“...Go… Just go…” he whispered. “Go… go, go, GO, GO, GO!”</p><p>He roared and pushed the car door open and tumbled out of the car, his trembling legs carrying him towards the station.</p><p>He had to get to Deafy.</p><p>He had to find Deafy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dick "Deafy" Wickware/Odis Weff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>"It's Wrenchers" Discord Secret Santa Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Holding Out For You And Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/anorchidisnotaflower/gifts">anorchidisnotaflower</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a gift for the wonderful @anorchidisnotaflower for our little server secret santa! I had so much fun writing it, and it won't be the last bit of Odick I write, that's a promise and a threat!! &lt;3 Hope you enjoy!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Odis’ body shook violently, his breath shallow. Sweat trickled down his nape.</p><p>“- three little Indians, four little Indians -”</p><p>His stomach contracted angrily, threatening to spill the single apple he’d managed to force down his throat earlier in the day. His back clenched and released so sporadically he was suddenly afraid it might snap in half at any second, like dry twigs under heavy feet, like thin ice during spring, like a frail wishbone held by prying fingers, like an old sidewalk during the winter, like a freshly cut carrot between pearly white teeth.</p><p>“- six little Indians, seven little Indians -”</p><p>Odis couldn’t tell where the fabric of his gloves and his own, frozen skin began and where it ended. His shoulders pressed further up, hunched against his own ears so tightly Odis was sure they would eventually pop out of their sockets, his arms falling uselessly at his sides.</p><p>
  <em>‘Palomino.’</em>
</p><p>“Gah!” Odis yelled, his voice echoing loudly in the car, his own breathing starting to fog the glass with every heaving exhale he gave. This wasn’t happening, this couldn’t be happening.</p><p>“- two little Indians, three little Indians -” he began again, trying to whisper a sense of control into his spasming muscles, trying to conjure courage and strength into his soul and mind. He needed to move, he needed to enter the train station before him and finish the single job he had left. He had to do what he was told, he had to-</p><p>Gunshots rang through the air.</p><p>Odis froze.</p><p>
  <em>‘Palomino.’</em>
</p><p>For a moment, all he could see was a deep brown gaze, staring straight into his soul, pushing past all of the walls he had carefully built. For a moment, he felt anger flood his body, every bone burning brightly as he heard every word of wisdom, every snarky comment and every unwanted touch.</p><p>Unexpected, a small voice in his brain supplied, unexpected, not unwanted.</p><p>And just like that, the anger was gone, replaced by cold fear and a single word at the forefront of Odis’ mind.</p><p>
  <em>Deafy.</em>
</p><p>Odis cursed loudly, learning forward and grasping the tiny car lock in his fingers, pushing it in and out as he tried to organize his thoughts.</p><p>Five times.</p><p>Ten times.</p><p>Fifteen times.</p><p>This wasn’t working.</p><p>Odis let go as if he’d been burned, facing forward, rocking in place.</p><p>
  <em>You have to go.</em>
</p><p>His hands clenched.</p><p>
  <em>You have to GO!</em>
</p><p>His heart was pounding.</p><p>“...Go… Just go…” he whispered. “Go… go, go, GO, GO, <em>GO</em>!”</p><p>He roared and pushed the car door open and tumbled out of the car, his trembling legs carrying him towards the station.</p><p>He had to get to Deafy.</p><p>He had to find Deafy.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Odis had been trying to fall asleep when he heard the knock on his front door.</p><p>His heart leapt into his throat and his body jerked upright, sitting up so suddenly his head swam. He had no idea what time it was, but urgent knocking in the middle of the night never meant anything good.</p><p>Odis stood carefully from his bed, making sure to make as little noise as possible as his hand curled around the glock he kept on his nightstand. It was loaded, placed in the perfect position to be grabbed in a hurry. He’d kept it there ever since he realized he was in too deep, that there was no way out of the corrupt mess he’d gotten himself into. His chest squeezed, constricting his lungs.</p><p>‘Not now,’ he reminded himself, forcing himself to breathe normally. He slowly made his way towards the front door, jumping slightly when the knocking came again.</p><p>The mafia wouldn’t knock if they’d come to kill him… would they?</p><p>Odis was considering what a sick joke that would be when a familiar voice called,<br/>
“Palomino? You awake?”</p><p>Odis heaved out a sigh of relief, although his head immediately started throbbing at the sound of that damn voice. A quick glance at the clock confirmed that it was late, almost 3 am.</p><p>“What is wrong with this guy?” Odis hissed to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose as he lowered his gun, annoyance flooding him as the knocking began once again.</p><p>Maybe he could ignore him? Pretend like he hadn’t heard him and slowly make his way back to his room?</p><p>Yeah, he could do that.</p><p>He began slowly turning on his heel, prepared to tip-toe back to bed, when Deafy’s voice floated through the room once again.</p><p>“I can hear ya padding around the flat, Palomino.”</p><p>Odis froze.</p><p>“Son of a…” he hissed, letting out a long, suffering sigh as he turned once more and faced the door.</p><p>He felt his blood run hot, exhaustion and annoyance testing his patience. He cleared his throat.</p><p>“The hell do you want at...” he paused, checking the clock in his living room, “... three o’ five in the goddamn morning?” Odis answered, his voice level yet harsh.</p><p>“Language,” came the single word warning.</p><p>Odis was going to murder this man.</p><p>“Christ, I swear I’m just gonna…” Odis began, slamming the glock on his dining table before stalking toward the door with far more intent now that he’d been figured out.</p><p>He swung the door open and lo and behold, there stood none other than Marshal Wickware in that awful brown outfit and his hands on his hips.</p><p>Odis got the sudden, distinct feeling that he was about to get scolded for something. He almost laughed at the thought: tall, imposing Deafy wagging his index finger at Odis, a moderately disappointed look upon his face as he admonished him. "Now, Odis, you know better than to go around meddling in the business of unlawful fellas."</p><p>However, that would imply that he’d been caught, and that Deafy knew what he was up to.</p><p>The entertaining image in his head turned sour, and Odis felt his heart drop at the thought. Well, he had no other option than to talk to him now, although he was awfully tempted to just tell him to fuck off and head back to sleep.</p><p>Instead, he pushed the image aside as he stood tall and stared Deafy down.</p><p>It was only then that he realized the older man had said nothing in the few seconds after he opened the door. He wasn’t even looking at Odis, instead staring down at his feet, his eyes hidden behind the wide brim of his hat.</p><p>Deafy? Quiet? Well, Odis thought, this was new.</p><p>“Is there, um,” Odis began, tilting his head to the side as he tried to peek beneath the brim. He tried again, “Is there a particular reason you’re knocking on my door in the middle of the night?”</p><p>Another moment went by, Deafy standing still as a statue. Just as Odis began to get the idea that maybe he really was in trouble, the taller man looked up. Brown eyes met green, and Odis felt his throat run dry.</p><p>“Partner,” Deafy began, averting his eyes once again, “I find myself with the need to apologize for a few things.”</p><p>Odis’ eyebrows shot up.</p><p>“Do you now?” he asked, a tint of sarcasm bleeding through his genuine surprise.</p><p>“The first being the foul hour of the day. You could ask, Deafy, why on earth are you here at five in the morning?”</p><p>“I did, in fact, ask you that.”</p><p>Deafy’s lips twitched at the comment, and for a moment, he looked back up at Odis.</p><p>“And I would tell you, well, the Lord is always at work, no matter the time or day…”</p><p>Deafy paused, his voice trailing off as he stared into green eyes. Odis shifted his weight, feeling suddenly uncomfortable under that scrutinizing gaze. However, it didn’t feel that way right now, he realized. It seemed… warmer, somehow friendlier.</p><p>Deafy swallowed, shaking his head as he looked down at his feet and then back up at Odis. Odis tried to predict what on earth Deafy could want that required him to be out of bed and fully dressed at this hour. Had he even gone to bed? Or was it just another weird Mormon thing to wake up this early?</p><p>“But the truth is, I’m here because I realized today, or rather, yesterday... that there’s a whole lot more to you than I originally thought, Odis Weff.”</p><p>Odis’ train of thought tripped over itself and fell on its face.</p><p>“I…” Odis’ voice cracked, after which he cleared his throat and tried again. “Excuse me?”</p><p>Deafy opened his mouth as if to continue, but the sound of steps down the hallway interrupted him. Both men turned towards the sound; however, Deafy didn’t miss the way Odis’ body tensed, his eyes fleeting up and down the corridor, his shoulders suddenly climbing up a few inches.</p><p>“Listen, you mind if I come in?” Deafy asked, trying to get Odis to focus on him instead.</p><p>It didn’t work, Odis’ hands clenching as he took a deep breath and glanced down the hall once more. He looked ready to reject the request, his whole body ready to fight or flight. However, Deafy watched as something seemed to dawn upon Odis, his shoulders relaxing minutely. Green eyes met his own once again.</p><p>“Sure, might as well get this over with…” Odis sighed, stepping aside.</p><p>It was only after Deafy had tipped his hat in gratitude and stepped inside that Odis realized he was still in his light blue pajamas. He felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him, unsure of what to do with himself as Deafy stepped inside the apartment.</p><p>For a moment, both men stood opposite from one another.</p><p>Deafy was looking down at his feet but startled suddenly. His eyes shot up at Levney’s picture upon the wall, and with a swift movement, he removed his hat and held it to his chest.</p><p>Odis felt his heart clench at the gesture.</p><p>Well, at least he had respect for one person in the apartment.</p><p>“Listen, was there anything particular you needed? It’s real late. I’m missing out on sleep.”</p><p>“All nights are rough,” Deafy mumbled, his eyes still glued to Levney’s portrait. Odis felt his stomach drop.</p><p>“Excuse me?” Odis asked. Finally, Deafy looked at him, his brown eyes somber.</p><p>“This morning, or… yesterday morning, I suppose. I asked if you had a rough night, you told me, ‘All of them are rough,’” Deafy recited. Odis stared back, feeling his hands twitch at his sides for a moment.</p><p>“It’s true.” Odis answered after a beat, “But that doesn’t answer my question. Now let me ask again, was there anything you needed? Or should I walk you to your car?”</p><p>“What a gentleman,” Deafy answered. There was a teasing tone behind his words, albeit a weak one. It still sent a wave of heat climbing up the nape of Odis’ neck. Before he could retort, however, Deafy’s gaze dropped and his shoulders dropped with a heavy sigh.</p><p>“I do apologize for the hour, but I was hoping…” Deafy paused once more, and Odis felt himself worry again. He had never seen the man at loss for words. Hell, he used to be a pastor; his job used to center around not shutting up.</p><p>“You were hoping…?” Odis prompted.</p><p>“I was hoping… you would lend me a hearing ear.” Deafy finished, resolve creeping into his tone. “I wanted to ask if we could talk.”</p><p>“You talk to me every day at the station,” Odis snapped back. “Why couldn’t you wait for the morning to talk.”</p><p>“It’s important,” Deafy defended.</p><p>“No job is so important you gotta barge into my house unannounced at five in the…”</p><p>“It’s not about a job,” Deafy interjected, raising his voice slightly.</p><p>“It… what in the goddamn hell is it about then?” Odis yelled. Deafy shook his head.</p><p>“It’s… it’s about us.” Deafy answered, looking up once more. Odis paused, his shaky train of thought screeching to a halt.</p><p>“About… what about us?” Odis asked, feeling strangely surreal as he said those words. A strong sense of déjà vu washed over him as Deafy began to answer.</p><p>“Listen, I know you aren’t keen on us being partners. I may be stubborn, but I’m not a complete fool.”</p><p>“Is that so?” Odis retorted automatically, barely registering the words. It didn’t matter—they slipped past Deafy all the same.</p><p>“But I was doing my prayer earlier this night and I realized…” Odis rolled his eyes, the beginning of a headache forming at his temples. “… you know why they call me Deafy. I’ve told you before. Frankly, hearing what I wanna hear is what led me to be who I am, and I have no regrets about that. But as I was praying last night, as I was telling the Lord about my concerns and my contemplations, he brought back to me a memory that I hadn’t visited in a long time.”</p><p>“Please tell me there’s a point to this,” Odis breathed, rubbing at his eyes with one hand.</p><p>“Did I ever tell you my wife almost died of cancer?”</p><p>Odis’ headache disappeared all at once. The air in the apartment was suddenly heavy, thick as water.</p><p>“I… no,” Odis answered, his voice almost a whisper.</p><p>“I didn’t recall telling you, but it’s true. We were young. The doctors caught it, although they weren’t sure if it was early enough.” Deafy explained. Odis noticed the way he rubbed his thumb along the brim of his hat. A nervous tick of his own, Odis realized. “They told us, we have treatment, but we can’t promise you anything, make sure to keep her in your prayers every night…”</p><p>Deafy sighed, his hands tightening on the brim of his hat.</p><p>“And I did. And every night, I prayed, and every morning, I prayed. I prayed a near constant thing. With her, while she slept, with friends and with fellas from our church. I asked the congregation to pray for her as well.” There was a pause. Deafy took a deep breath, “I realized at one point, though, that she wasn’t getting better.”</p><p>“But she made it, didn’t she?”</p><p>“You wanted to know if there was a point, right, partner? Let me finish.”</p><p>Odis snapped his mouth shut, a hint of annoyance flashing at the back of his mind.</p><p>“A few months had gone by. We were low on money, and she wasn’t getting any better. And, well… that was the only time in my whole life that, for a few days, I started doubting. How could the Lord let this happen? How could he put Sarah, such a pure and kind and strong soul, one of his most devout followers, through this? I knew he put us to the test, that he wanted us to become stronger, but why her?” Deafy shook his head, his eyes lost in memories Odis couldn’t understand, but somehow knew he could relate to.</p><p>“I had been so busy praying, so busy asking everyone to join me, to beg the Lord to spare her, that… I forgot to spend time with her. I forgot to listen to her.” Deafy admitted, shame lacing his tone. He took another deep breath, one that sounded heavy with experience and age. Odis just listened.</p><p>“She sat me down, told me she wanted me to stop praying. I tried to tell her what a terrible idea that was but she told me, ‘Richard Wickware, you did your part. You asked and you prayed, but I’m sure the Lord has made up his mind. If I’m meant to go, then I’m meant to go, so if I could ask the Lord for one last thing, it’s to let me have you with me, by my side, while I battle this thing through’.” Deafy recited. Odis noticed his eyes had glassed over as he spoke, but decided against pointing it out.</p><p>“But… she made it.” Odis whispered. Deafy nodded.</p><p>“She did. A few days later, she had her last surgery. It went well, swimmingly well, apparently. She made a full recovery, and now we keep routine visits to make sure it doesn’t come back,” Deafy finished.</p><p>Odis gazed at the older man, gears turning in his head as he tried to make sense of the story.</p><p>“Why are you telling me this?”</p><p>A pause.</p><p>“Because I think God was telling me that it was time to lend my ear to someone who wasn’t just him.”</p><p>Odis huffed a laugh, shaking his head.</p><p>“So what, you suddenly remembered the hard days of your life and decided to come wake me up?”</p><p>“You weren’t sleeping, Palomino,” Deafy answered softly, and somehow that was worse.</p><p>“And how’d you figure that, huh?” Odis shot back, his voice tense.</p><p>“Odis…” Deafy said above a whisper, and it was the softest tone Odis had ever heard from him. It does something to him, smooths over his mood like a balm.</p><p>“I don’t…” Odis tried, but now exhaustion really was pulling at the edges of his consciousness. He could feel the weight of the day pressing on him, of the fighting, of Levney’s memories… He shook his head, trying to clear his mind.</p><p>“Listen, Palomino, all I’m saying is… if you ever need someone to talk to, ever need a shoulder to lean on or a hearing ear… I’m here. That’s all,” Deafy stated, his tone calm and serene.</p><p>Odis felt confusion drop into the strange mixture of exhaustion and stress he’d been brewing in since Deafy walked into his life.</p><p>“I, um… Thank you? I guess?” Odis tried, his tone tired.</p><p>“Gladly, Palomino. That’s what partners are for,” Deafy added. The title still irritated Odis, but in that moment, in the midst of this strangely vulnerable conversation they’d been having, it sparked just a little warmth. Like maybe Deafy really meant that word, like maybe Odis wasn’t just a means to an end, like he was to everyone else. And even though it didn’t make up for all the stress he'd been putting Odis through recently… it felt like a start.</p><p>Of what? Odis wasn’t sure.</p><p>“Well, now that you got that off your chest, I really would like to get back to trying to sleep, if you don’t mind,” Odis began, hoping Deafy would catch on and let himself out.</p><p>But like with everything related to Deafy, he went ahead and did exactly the opposite of what Odis wanted him to do.</p><p>“Well, about that, it <em>is</em> almost six in the morning.”</p><p>“It’s really not.”</p><p>“And I usually get up around this time anyway, and seeing as, you know, I need to drive all the way across town to get to where I’m staying,” Odis felt the headache returning, “I was actually wondering if I could just hang around here for about, oh, I don’t know, an hour and a half?”</p><p>“You know what?” Odis sighed, “You can do whatever you goddamn please. But I am going to head back to bed, and turn off my lights, and try to get some sleep. And if I hear a single sound from out here that keeps me up, I’m gonna throw you out the window, comprende?”</p><p>“Capisce,” Deafy answered confidently, and Odis felt like punching him.</p><p>“Alright, goodnight” he hissed between clenched teeth, shaking his head as he walked toward his room.</p><p>“Palomino,” Deafy called, just as he was going to close his door.</p><p>“What!?” Odis snapped, turning on his heel, but his stomach dropped as soon as he did. Deafy was standing by his dining table, Odis’ glock in his hand, the handle facing Odis.</p><p>“You forgot something,” he answered.</p><p>Odis crossed the room, snatched the glock, and stalked back before throwing the door closed. Without thinking too hard, he turned the lights off, put the safety back on the glock and dove into his bed. As the sky slowly began to turn pink, Odis felt his eyelids grow heavy. He watched the light from the other room, his ears picking up on no sound, but his whole body completely aware of one Deafy Wickware probably sitting at his dining table, or inspecting his Hummels. Or maybe he was looking at Levney again, his hat clenched between his hands and his eyes soft.</p><p>With that thought, Odis fell into what was probably the calmest sleep he’d had in years. Even if it did last only about an hour before his damn alarm rang.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Odis’ heart pounded in his ears as he sprinted into the train station.</p><p>The smell of blood and gunpowder hit him like a wave, his body shaking at the realization that something terrible had happened.</p><p>Something that had been his fault.</p><p>He continued to run, pushing past a handful of people as he ran down the hall and took the stairs down, nearly crashing into a man in the process.</p><p>His breathing was shallow, panic enveloping him as he looked down.</p><p>Bodies, dozens of bodies.</p><p>He stepped forward, his glock shaking in his hands as he slowly made his way through an ocean of cold marble and warm blood.</p><p>God, he’d done this, he was the <em>cause</em> of this.</p><p>He hadn’t realized he had stopped, looking across the carnage in shock, until he heard them.</p><p>More gunshots.</p><p>“Put your weapons down!” a voice called in the distance.</p><p>He paused, giving the floor one last glance before a thought raced through his mind.</p><p>
  <em>No Deafy.</em>
</p><p>Deafy was still out there.</p><p>Without a second thought, Odis ran towards the ruckus.</p><p><em>Find Deafy</em>, he thought, <em>just find Deafy.</em></p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“He talked about you too, little birdie…Said you fill your pockets just like the rest of them and fly your crooked line, is that true?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What’d you say to me?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, that’s my trick. You heard me just fine.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“See, I can’t help but think you’ve been yankin’ my chain for weeks now, because your bread is buttered on the other side.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You know what you are? You’re a fucking curse.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Language.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You listen to me, slick. If I knew where your Mormon God was, I’d drive through the night and stab him in the FUCKING eyes! We’re DONE!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“If that’s where you wanna go… but careful how many sides you play Palomino… Even a golden coin only has two faces.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Get out… OUT!”</em>
</p><p>Odis couldn’t shake the conversation from his head. Fuck that guy, he thought, fuck Deafy Wickware. Fuck him for showing up unnanounced and ruining the semblance of control Odis had on his life. Fuck him for always acting like he was better than everyone else. Fuck him for making Odis feel, for a single night in his life, like maybe he was making a friend. Like maybe there was someone that could look at all the parts of him that were disgusting and corrupt and still want to be by his side.</p><p>
  <em>“Take them down together…”</em>
</p><p>Odis turned on his bed and yelled into his pillow.</p><p>This couldn’t be happening.</p><p>He had tried to run, tried to pack everything and get out, but Loy had been ready for that move. Loy had been watching him for so long, and now there was no way out.</p><p>He was playing for both faces of the coin, and no matter what he did, one side was going to land on the floor, and he would get blamed for it.</p><p>What had he done to deserve this?</p><p>
  <em>You did this all to yourself.</em>
</p><p>But everyone took the money, why couldn’t he?</p><p>
  <em>You were weak, you’re still weak.</em>
</p><p>He couldn’t take it. He couldn’t take this.</p><p>Odis threw the blankets off himself and sat on the edge of his bed. His heart was thumping loudly and his hands were sweating. He counted to five and got up, pacing back and forth before cursing and going into his living room.</p><p>He reached for the pack of cigarettes placed neatly on his dining table and sat down heavily, his hands shaking as he tried to light the cigarette held precariously in between his trembling lips.</p><p>
  <em>It’s all your fault.</em>
</p><p>“Fuck!” Odis yelled, slamming the lighter onto the table and spitting the cigarette out.</p><p>God, what had he done.</p><p>He took a few breaths, feeling himself slowly return to his normal state of constant near-panic instead of the full-blown fear he had just experienced.</p><p>Breathe in, hold, breathe out. Breathe in, hold, breathe out.</p><p>It was only after he had managed to slow his heart that he realized he was staring at Levney.</p><p>Sweet, beautiful Levney.</p><p>It had all gone downhill since the day he heard the news. Since the day he realized he would never come home to her.</p><p>He felt a sob try to claw its way up his throat, but he held it down, letting it sting at his eyes. He sighed, standing up and making his way over to her portrait.</p><p>He’d put it up as soon as he’d returned home, realizing he couldn’t escape anymore.</p><p>“God, Levney…” He whispered, staring up at her smile. “What am I gonna do?”</p><p>She didn’t answer. Nobody ever did. Odis dropped his head. No matter how hard he prayed, how hard he tried to speak out, nobody would answer. That was the reason Odis stopped going to church when he was a teenager. Well, that, and another reason as well…</p><p>Before Levney, Odis never had somebody that would listen to him, really listen to him. That would look at him and see him for who he was, that would patiently wait for him to go through his train of thought and organize his words until they came out just right. Before Levney, Odis didn’t have anybody, really. And after her, it was the same.</p><p>
  <em>Or is it?</em>
</p><p>Odis paused, looking up at Levney once again.</p><p>There was… one person, who had at least said he would listen…</p><p>Odis shook his head. He couldn’t do that, not after the conversation today.</p><p>
  <em>You’ll never know unless you try.</em>
</p><p>“No,” Odis whispered to himself, “No… I can’t do that… he wouldn’t… nobody would listen…”</p><p>
  <em>What have you got to lose?</em>
</p><p>Odis froze, the words shoving themselves into his chest like a knife.</p><p>Nothing, he realized. He had nothing to lose.</p><p>And with that thought, Odis was dressed and out of the apartment in record time.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Deafy had been in the middle of fitful sleeping when he heard knocks on his door. He checked the time, realized it was probably an emergency, and immediately got up and threw his coat on over his sleeping clothes.</p><p>He wasn’t sure who he expected at 3:30 in the morning, but it surely wasn’t Palomino, wearing a lovely red suit and an expression that looked like death. Not that the former one wasn’t common these days.</p><p>“Well, would you look at that…'' Deafy stated, staring Odis down as he stifled a yawn, “You know, I’ve had bad breakups before, worse than what we had today, but I’ve never had someone regret it so quick.”</p><p>“Shut up, listen,” Odis snapped, making Deafy frown. “Can I… can I come in?”</p><p>Deafy gave Odis a once-over, narrowing his eyes suspiciously before nodding minutely and stepping aside. Odis rushed in, almost pushing the taller man over, and walked straight toward one of the two armchairs decorating the room before swiftly throwing himself down on it. It was a small hotel room with a single queen bed and a small sitting area for two. The wallpaper was a comforting tone of yellow and the curtains dark green. It wasn’t hideous, but it was clear that fancy wasn’t what they were going for.</p><p>Deafy just stared at Odis, still holding the door open, before sighing and closing it.</p><p>“And to what do I owe this pleasure?” Deafy asked, making his way to the other armchair across from Odis.</p><p>“You told me…” Odis paused, clearing his throat as Deafy sat down. “You told me… you would lend me a hearing ear, if I ever needed it.”</p><p>The change in Deafy’s expression was immediate. Where at first he had been guarded, closed-off, even, and looking at Odis like he was nothing but trouble, now his eyes were warm, open, looking at Odis like he was a friend. It made Odis shiver.</p><p>“I did say that.”</p><p>“Did you mean it?”</p><p>“I did,” Deafy answered without missing a beat. “I always mean what I say.”</p><p>Odis tried not to think too hard about how that could apply to their conversation earlier that day and pushed forward.</p><p>“I don’t wanna talk about work right now, and… and I don’t wanna talk about how fucked up everything is.”</p><p>“Alright,” Deafy answered, his voice calm. “That’s alright, Odis.”</p><p>“And I don’t wanna talk about what happened in the car, because, for the longest time, I’ve felt like I’m nothing more than just… just a shitty cop. Just another rotten apple in this shitty world…”</p><p>Odis noted that Deafy hadn’t admonished his language yet.</p><p>“And I don’t wanna talk about the gals or the Faddas or the Cannons or anything, I don’t wanna talk about shitty Kansas City… I just…”</p><p>Brown eyes continued to look at him, but there was no heat in them, no anger. There was only understanding, kindness. Odis felt like he was going to cry again.</p><p>Deafy was silent, watching as Odis’ breath started becoming more and more shallow, his shoulders pulling up and his hands spasming.</p><p>Odis felt embarrassment wash over him. Here he was, having a breakdown in front of the man that probably thought so lowly about him he was less than garbage to him.</p><p>This was a mistake, this was all a mistake, he should…</p><p>Odis froze.</p><p>Deafy’s hand was next to his, just hovering in the air. Odis could have sworn he could feel the heat radiating from it. He looked up, green meeting brown, and felt his heart skip a beat.</p><p>Permission. Deafy was asking for permission.</p><p>When Odis didn’t do anything, or moved his hand away, Deafy’s hand slowly descended, and suddenly, Odis felt the warmth of someone’s hand on his. It was also then that he realized, for the first time in years, he’d forgotten to wear his gloves.</p><p>It had been years since anybody had held his hand. And yet here he was, sitting in a mediocre hotel room, with Marshal Dick Wickware holding his hand like he was a damn toddler.</p><p>He wanted to be mad, to pull his hand away and yell at him, but he couldn’t.</p><p>He was too tired, and frankly, he didn’t want to. It felt nice, he realized, it felt so nice.</p><p>Odis didn’t notice how his breathing had evened out, how his shoulders had slowly dropped, how his heart was no longer running a hundred miles per minute. But Deafy did.</p><p>“What do you want to talk about, Odis?” he whispered, his voice soft and warm, enveloping Odis in ways he hadn’t felt for years.</p><p>Odis shook his head, took a deep breath, and felt the tears sting at his eyes.</p><p>“I just wanna talk about Levney,” he whispered.</p><p>Deafy nodded, his hand tightening around Odis’.</p><p>“Then do it,” he answered. “Tell me about her.”</p><p>And Odis did.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Odis ran as fast as he could without slipping on the shiny, marble floors. He clambered up the steep, curving staircase, his heart hammering louder with every step.</p><p>“Drop them now, ladies!” came the familiar voice, making his heart beat even faster.</p><p>
  <em>Deafy.</em>
</p><p>Odis readied his glock, his arms shaking as he approached the top steps and stared down the dark hallway at the three figures in the distance.</p><p>“Over here,” the same voice. “I’ve gottem.”</p><p>Odis’ breath was so shallow, he could barely hear Deafy above it.</p><p>“They ran out of bullets,” came the mocking tone, and Odis’ stomach twisted.</p><p>Odis jogged slightly faster. If he didn’t act soon, he was going to chicken out. He was going to mess this up.</p><p>“Atta boy, Weff,” came the warm praise as Odis approached. “Come on, I need ya…” A pause, a ruffle of clothes and metal, and then Deafy was holding handcuffs out to him. “Cuff ‘em.”</p><p>Odis took a shuddering breath, looking up at the girls. They stared back at him with nothing but disgust, dark eyes filled with anger and rage. He could feel them see straight through him, could feel them recognize who he was. He had never felt smaller in his whole life.</p><p>He looked back at Deafy, and then at the cuffs.</p><p>He could feel dark, familiar eyes on him. He could feel how they, too, looked through him, into the depths of his soul.</p><p>He felt fear, anger, and panic rise up in him all at once.</p><p>He had to do it, he had to do it now.</p><p>Without a second thought, he took the cuffs, and drew his gun.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>“I want in,” Odis stated.</p><p>Gone was the man Odis had talked to all night. The man who had listened to his every woe and held his hand as he yearned for Levney, for the life he could have had with her. He had left the hotel two hours later feeling ten tons lighter, feeling like maybe there was a way out of this mess, only to find Opal at his door, a message and instructions in his hands..</p><p>Deafy, the real Deafy that worked in the suit and had no time for corrupt cops like himself, spared him a glance before looking down at his weapon. Odis tried again.</p><p>“Look, I’ve been thinking about what you said…” he sighed. “... I just wanna be a cop again.”</p><p>That seemed to catch Deafy’s attention, who looked up at him curiously, his eyes still narrowed in suspicion.</p><p>“No bullshit,” Odis continued. “All in.”</p><p>Deafy pulled one arm into his warm jacket, still looking completely unconvinced. But to Odis’ surprise, he answered.</p><p>“Sure, partner,” Odis felt relief flood him. “Just tell me one thing…” And just like that, it was gone. “Who’s on the phone? And before you lie, just know I ain’t been fooled by man or beast since Hitler was still giving speeches in beer halls.”</p><p>Odis nodded minutely, feeling the sweat drip down the nape of his neck.</p><p>He couldn’t mess this up. He had to think fast. He could do this.</p><p>He leaned close, sparing a glance at their surroundings.</p><p>“It was Loy Cannon,” he whispered. Deafy’s eyes widened, his face clear with surprise.</p><p>A pause.</p><p>“... go on…?” Deafy prompted.</p><p>Odis sighed. He could do this.</p><p>“He wants me to make sure you get those girls,” he said firmly. “Doesn’t want them coming back on him.”</p><p>“Get help…” Deafy replied, sounding hesitant.</p><p>“Just to make sure they’re caught,” Odis confirmed. “... or killed.”</p><p>Deafy gazed at Odis, his concern and distrust painting his features.</p><p>“Ok, then,” he answered softly, and for a moment, Odis thought maybe he would take it back. Maybe he had caught on to him. Instead, his normal expression returned and he looked away. “Now, what were you saying about being a cop again?”</p><p>Odis swallowed heavily, trying to gather his bearings.</p><p><em>Just talk to him like you did last night</em>, the voice whispered, <em>just imagine it’s the two of you.</em></p><p>“I… this isn’t a choice,” he started, motioning at his shaking, gloved hands. “I’ve got a condition. When I was a kid, the teachers said, ‘oversensitive.’ The army shrink told me I - I worry too much, which… How can you worry too much when you’re at war?” Odis explained. Deafy listened, his eyes taking on that familiar look they had when all his attention was focused on Odis. It made his heart skip a beat. “Those things you called me… Twitchy, touched, I’ve been hearing that my whole life. All I know is… I - I feel better when I’m in charge, when I got the power.”</p><p>Deafy’s expression turned guilty at the mention of those words, but he held his tongue, letting Odis finish.</p><p>“That’s why I joined the force. You know, because cops have power. So, now I’m on the street, I’m the boss, except, turns out, being a cop’s real risky. Risky makes me nervous. So I’m… I make a deal with the street. I take a few bucks, I - I look the other way. Less risk, but also less power. So here comes that feeling again, like I’m… Like I’m drowning on… on dry land,” Odis finished. He took a deep breath.</p><p>Deafy stared back at him, his expression having hardened when Odis mentioned the deals on the street, the corruption that was now intertwined in his life. Odis could feel the judgement in his eyes, and he understood. He would judge himself, too.</p><p>“You know what worries me?” Deafy finally said, pulling his coat on fully as he spoke. “Dying with one boot on, caught short. That’s a petty death.”</p><p>Odis nodded, trying to understand what he was saying.</p><p>“So, let me throw you a rope.”</p><p>Odis paused, leaning close.</p><p>“You want to die like a man? You got to live like a man.”</p><p>Odis felt the words latch on to him, their nails driving into his skin.</p><p>He was right, and Odis knew it. But Deafy would never understand.</p><p>There was no saving Odis. Not from the day he heard about Levney.</p><p>But he didn’t say that, instead he nodded and looked Deafy in the eye.</p><p>“I’m ready,” he said, and Deafy’s eyebrows went up, expectation clear on his face.</p><p>“Giddy up.”</p><p>Both men exited the station and headed to their assigned car, Deafy dropping into the driver's seat without asking, and Odis following suit, taking the passenger side. They drove in silence, the radio crackling every so often as they made their way through the city.</p><p>Odis knew he should be quiet, knew he shouldn’t change the mood unless he wanted to risk chickening out. But the more he glanced over at Deafy, the more he looked at the outline of his face and the slope of his nose and those brown eyes, he couldn’t help but speak.</p><p>“Listen,” he said suddenly, startling both himself and Deafy.</p><p>“... yeah, Palomino?” Deafy asked. The name calmed Odis down, the pressure in his chest releasing minutely.</p><p>“I… I really did appreciate last night,” he said softly. Before Deafy could answer, he pressed forward, “I… nobody has listened to me like that in a long time, and, I know we aren’t doing well. I know you’re upset your partner ended up being a corrupt asshole, and I know we’re far away from fixing things but…” Odis felt fear constrict his throat, regret blooming in his chest.</p><p>Why did he open his mouth? Why did he think he could ask for something like this? From Deafy, no less?</p><p>No, he admonished himself, he could ask this. He could ask this because this was Deafy.</p><p>“I… I hope maybe, one day, after I clean up my act… maybe we could be friends,” Odis finished, the sweat on his nape cold and his hands clenching his knees. He looked down between his feet, unable to look up and see the expression on Deafy’s face.</p><p>He didn’t know how long they sat in silence, the street’s yellow lights passing them by. He began to think that maybe Deafy was ignoring him, and that he should leave it at that, when he saw something out of the corner of his eye.</p><p>Deafy’s hand had reached out across the car console, his fingers spread and his palm open. He wasn’t looking at Odis, his eyes glued to the road, but there was a spark of something in his eyes. Something akin to hope.</p><p>He wasn’t sure why he did it. Maybe because it felt right, maybe because for the first time in a long time, Odis started to feel like he wasn’t alone, but he took the hand and squeezed it like his life depended on it.</p><p>“These are tough times, Palomino,” Deafy said, still not sparing him a glance. “But I have faith that we’ll make it through. And when we do, maybe we can sit down and talk about it, like civilized folk do.”</p><p>Odis gave the hand one last squeeze, and on cue, they both let go.</p><p>Odis didn’t say anything else, but his hand buzzed the whole way to the station.</p><p>He needed to gather his courage, he told himself, he needed to go through with the plan.</p><p>With that thought, Odis’ right hand ran up his thigh and rested on his glock.</p><p>
  <em>Go through with the plan.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Deafy doesn’t jump when Odis draws his gun, he doesn’t even flinch. But his eyes do widen, in particular when he realizes Odis is holding the handle towards him instead of the barrel. Just like he did the first night he visited.</p><p>“Loy Cannon asked me to kill you,” Odis recites, his voice shaking.</p><p>Deafy’s eyes shoot open, his eyebrows climbing up.</p><p>“He wanted you and the girls out of the equation, and he asked me to do it quietly and cleanly.”</p><p>“I…” Deafy begins, looking down at the gun. One of the gals moves minutely and Deafy’s eyes shoot forward, straightening his gun. “Now, don’t you even think about it.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Odis continues, and Deafy looks at him from the corner of his eye, visibly confused. “I know we can’t be partners, or friends. I know I fucked it up before you even met me, but I can’t keep doing this, and you…” Odis takes a deep breath. “You’ve got it all figured out, you know? You’ve got Sarah waiting for you at home, you’ve got your title, you’ve got your mission complete,” he motions towards the gals who are looking more confused by the second, “you’ve got it all, and I… I’m just a shitty, corrupt cop from Kansas City.”</p><p>Before Deafy can answer, Odis pushes the handle of his gun into his hand and then takes a step back.</p><p>“Palomino, what on earth are you doing?” Deafy asks, his shoulders tense and his eyes still trained on the gals.</p><p>“I’m leaving,” he says. “I gotta leave. I’m getting on the first train I can find.”</p><p>“You ain’t got no luggage,”</p><p>“It doesn’t matter. I’ve got my papers, some cash, that’s all I need.”</p><p>“That <em>is</em> all he really needs,” Swanee calls from where she stands.</p><p>“Now hold on just one second,” Deafy interjects, and Odis is surprised to hear panic in his voice. “Then what on earth was all that talk earlier about being a real cop? About no bs?”</p><p>“A cover up,” Odis admits, “and a shit one at that. Don’t know how you fell for it.”</p><p>“Because I didn’t!” Deafy shoots back, his jaw tense, “I knew there was something up, but I thought we could pull through together! I thought… I thought we could pull through like partners! Like friends!”</p><p>Odis feels his heart tug at the words, and for a moment, he feels peace.</p><p>Deafy really did want them to come out of this together, huh?</p><p>“Well,” Odis starts, “we can’t. I’m a dead man walking, Deafy. As soon as you walk out of here with both gals in cuffs and someone tells Loy, my days are numbered.”</p><p>“Hey now, I won’t let that happen.”</p><p>“There’s nothing we can do. They’ll be at my place.”</p><p>“Palomino…”</p><p>“I’m leaving, Deafy,” Odis tries again, raising his voice.</p><p>“Then leave with me!” Deafy yells.</p><p>His words echo through the long, empty hall. Both gals stare at them with wide eyes, Zelmare like they’ve lost their minds and Swanee like she’s watching the best TV special she’s ever witnessed. And Odis feels like the floor has been pulled out from beneath him.</p><p>“What?” Odis asks, unable to believe his ears.</p><p>“Leave with me,” Deafy states, his voice even and sure. “Leave with me, you can hide out with us for as long as you need. I can get you under witness protection and you won’t have to worry about any of these mafia rats for the rest of your days.”</p><p>“I… Deafy, you can’t just…”</p><p>“I can, and I will,” Deafy interrupts, and finally, finally turns his head and looks at him.</p><p>“You deserve better than this, Palomino,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “Please, let me help.”</p><p>Odis looks into those dark brown eyes, really sees into them and into Deafy himself, and realizes then and there.</p><p>He isn’t alone anymore.</p><p>“Alright,” he says. “Ok, alright.”</p><p>The smile Deafy gives him is so bright he’s nearly blinded by it, but it’s also so contagious he finds himself smiling back.</p><p>Maybe he’ll be alright, he thinks.</p><p>With Deafy, maybe things will work out.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>It takes them a half hour to figure things out.</p><p>Deafy manages to buy Zelmare and Swanee’s silence by offering them a chance to try and get away to Chicago. He says he’ll give them a four hour lead. Odis tries to convince him that he isn’t worth tarnishing Deafy’s perfect record, to which Deafy answers, “There’s more important things, Palomino.” And this time, when he places his hand on Odis’ shoulder, Odis doesn’t flinch. And if he leans into the touch, neither of them mentions it afterwards.</p><p>They get in the car and drive off into the night, Deafy explaining that he can just have the hotel mail him his things. It’s nearly two in the morning when they cross state lines up into South Dakota, and a few hours later, they’re driving into Montana.</p><p>Odis feels smelly and sticky, not having changed his clothes in a long time, and his left buttcheek becomes numb a few hours after they’ve entered Montana. But his hands are gloveless, and one of them is being held tightly by Deafy across the car’s console. He’s not sure what he’s gotten himself into, and as he squeezes Deafy’s hand for the 50th time since they left, he realizes he also doesn’t know what this all means.</p><p>But it doesn’t matter. He’s got Deafy Wickware’s hand in his and he’s far away from all the pain and sorrow he’s ever known. He’d like to believe Levney would be proud, and as he takes one last glance at Deafy, his eyelids heavy as he slowly succumbs to sleep in the passenger seat, he realizes, yeah… she would be.</p>
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